Confessions of an American Kola Nut Eater

As the Peace Corps is a child of the ‘60s, I decided to honor that tradition by abusing substances. Well, one substance, to be exact – the kola nut. In one day I consumed more kola than is probably doctor-recommended.

A handful of kola

 

8am. On my way to the mosque. Today is the part of Ramadan known as the “Day of Forgiveness” and as such, I’ll spend my first two hours praying. Good thing I chewed some kola. Kola makes sense as a stimulant and social glue for Muslims who can’t drink alcohol.

10am. Back in my hut now, another bite, so bitter, then a sweetness that comes after, like anise. “Fatou, come pull water!” I hear my sister call from the well. “I’m coming!” I snap, taking another bite. Self-control never being a strength of mine, I eat too much and feel unutterable joy.

1130am. My thoughts soar. I remember once, early in my service, when Old Man Dramé asked me to be his fourth wife. I said I wasn’t sure my (host) dad would agree and besides, there were no kola nuts present, when who happened to ride up on his bicycle? My host dad – with a package of kola nuts. Life! You’re just too much sometimes. (The old men that day were happy. They say kola is a cheap alternative to Viagra. Is this why they’re a necessity at every wedding?)

1230pm. Mid-crossword puzzle. I can’t for the life of me remember who composed “Planets.” Stare at the ground so long I lose track of time until I’m called to lunch a half hour later.

330pm. I have switched from red to white. It tastes the same. Thoughts again roam: Would Pemberton be proud of his recipe today? John Pemberton was a Confederate war veteran and morphine addict, who got hooked to ease the pain from battle wounds. He wanted to kick the morphine habit, so he made a concoction of kola and coca (as in, cocaine) and carbonated water, thus making Coca-Cola. The only part of the original recipe that remains is the carbonated water. Coke and kola nut may have the same effect, but every time I buy kola, the seller always gives me one extra “as a gift,” and this makes me a happy and loyal customer.

Kola nut sellers

 

615pm. At what point do I stop so I can sleep tonight? I’m going for another round. They say kola staves off hunger pangs. Kola is cooler than cigarettes – all the old ladies are doing it!

830pm. Kola by candlelight in my hut after dinner, reading a book and listening to crickets. My sister lies down next to me, so I quickly swallow the wad I’ve been chewing on. Oops. That’s not supposed to happen. My stomach gurgles. My sister lifts her head. “Is there a frog in your belly?” she asks. I groan. Sure feels like it.

10pm. My grandmother comes to take my sister away and I decide to call it a night. Outside in my latrine for a last round of hygiene. How did all my toothpaste disappear? Did I eat it? I look up and see lightning roll across the sky in its gentle way at the start of the rainy season. My head spins. Suddenly I got it: Holst! Holst! He’s the composer of “Planets!”