This post-colonial author - a Senegalese and a feminist - writes of the complexities of polygamous marriage, as well as the complexities of criticizing a practice so steeped in culture and religion (Islam says a man can take up to 4 wives, as long as he can provide for every wife). Ba's thoughts on the subject are clear. In So Long a Letter, she writes of a man who takes his daughter's best friend as a second wife, remaining married to his first wife, though in essence abandoning her. This epistolary novel follows the protagonist's thoughts in a letter she writes to her best friend, Aissatou, also a divorcee.
Ba offers a feminist response to Cheikh Hamidou Kane (Ambiguous Adventure). For her, Western colonial education may signal the death of tradition, but it heralds equal educational opportunities for women, where none had previously existed. And the response by their male counterparts?
"Being the first pioneers of the promotion of African women, there were very few of us. Men would call us scatter-brained. Others labelled us devils."
The interesting thing about this book is that it is considered a classic of African literature. It is required reading in middle school, where young Senegalese students hold debates on polygamy. Women, as well as men, have been quick to extol the merits of this book when they see me reading it.
While my thoughts were on the subject of gender, I decided to sit down with a few Senegalese friends and hear their ideas. For the man's perspective, we'll be hearing from Falaye Danfakha, a math and science teacher from southern Senegal, torn between tradition and the flash of modern science (and also my language teacher). For the women, we'll hear the thoughts of Adji Thiaw, also a Peace Corps staff member and a wonderful human being, a strong, beautiful, intelligent Senegalese woman.
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Chrissie Faupel: What characteristics should a good Senegalese woman possess?
Falaye Danfakha: She should be religious, humble, and positive. Also, because men are the head of the household with a lot of responsibilities, women should be understanding and supportive of their husbands. But most of all, religious.
Adji Thiaw: Others would say she should stay at home, not complain, raise her kids. I think a good woman should know what and how far she can do something - know her own limits. She should not stick to traditional ways. She should be sharing and cooperative with her family at large. Women here are judged by how happy their husbands are. For example, many consider me to be a bad wife because I work far from home most of the time.
CF: What characteristics should a good Senegalese man possess?
FD: Most of all, he should be responsible, since he's the head of the family. He should be religious, polite, and also have many of the same characteristics as women. But most of all, responsible, since he is a leader.
AT: He should know how to give respect and be understanding. Most of all, he should know how to give recognition to his wife. See, here, women only get the recognition they deserve at their funeral ceremonies. But by then it's too late. Men should also learn how to help out around the house.
CF: What are your thoughts on Mariama Ba's Une Si Longue Lettre?
FD: On the one hand, Mariama Ba had a really tough life. She uses her bad experience with men to explain how men are. I can't blame her for that since that was her experience. But on the other hand, she only shows the bad side of men. Men also can be wronged by women. The solution is for both men and women to assume their responsibilities.
AT: This book describes the fate of any woman in Senegal. I found my own experience in what she was writing about. This is true for a great majority of women; they have no support from their husbands. But you can't complain, it's women's fate.
CF: Mariama Ba is very critical of polygamy. What are your thoughts on this practice?
FD: Here, for us, religion is really strong, so it's hard to comment on that. It's a man's choice to take up to four wives. Most women don't want to live that way, but that comes from a misunderstanding in the way they were raised. Parents need to sensitize their daughters to this practice. This is why parents worry about sending their children to French schools, because they will develop bad ideas about polygamy. If they go to a religious school, they will be more free and comfortable with the idea.
AT: I would be that critical of polygamy, too. I grew up in this kind of family; my mom was my dad's first wife. He had four wives. There was not enough room for all of us, not enough money to buy school supplies, and sometimes not enough food for everyone. But sometimes I think my husband would be happier if he took another wife since I'm always away from Dakar for work. Though it's really unfair. There are health issues to think about. If my husband marries someone with a sexually transmitted infection, I could get sick, too. It's unjust.
CF: Often Western women talk of the problems that African women face - female genital mutilation and polygamy, for example. In your opinion, what are the most pressing issues that Senegalese women face?
FD: Female genital mutilation is an issue, but the government is trying to fight that. If you are caught doing this practice, you will go to jail. I think the biggest issue is that women work a lot. They have a lot of housework to do, especially in the villages, and they are given less consideration than men. My mom had a lot of work and I credit her for where I am now - she was the one who looked out for my education, my nutrition.
AT: There is no room for women in the decision-making process. The government has attempted, but it's really not happening. However educated women are, they are still seen as only wives and mothers. Often I am the only woman in my workplace and this is unjust. Access to continuing education is also a big problem women face, especially because of early marriage and pregnancy. A man might be afraid to take an educated wife because she is less submissive.
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Mariama Ba, however, leaves us with an eye toward the future. "The word 'happiness' does indeed have meaning, doesn't it? I shall go out in search of it."
*to call on somebody three times is an invocation that indicates the seriousness of a situation
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